Just a joke

Why are hobbit doors round?
ANSWER: If you ate 9 meals a day you'd want round doors too!

How many hobbits does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ANSWER: Well, it takes twenty because:
Three to find a ladder that reaches up to the sky
Seven to find a lightbulb in the dark halls of stone
Nine to steady the ladder so the one on top doesn't die
One to install the lightbulb, on the ladder, all alone
In a land called The Shire, where very few shadows lie.

10 ways to annoy a wizard in
Middle-Earth

10) Ask him does he do kids parties.
9) Tug on his beard then tie it to his shoe laces.
8) Steal his staff then play keep away.
7) Tell him in a patronising tone, "There is no shame in being Peter the Pink."
6) Keep on standing on his robes when you are behind him then say to him "Oh, pardon me."
5) Ask him to pull a rabbit out of his hat.
4) On a regular basis refer to his robes as pajamas.
3) If he ever gets a new piece of jewellery, say to him "Thats nice, I think I saw Saruman wearing something like that last week."
2) When he falls asleep, draw on his face with a marker.
1) Ask him when you are standing behind him, "If you are really a wizard, tell me what finger I am holding up."

The shire's 10 fav movies
10: Bar Wars: A New Hobbit, The Nazgul Strike Back, and Return of the Red Eye
9: Crocodile Dunedain
8: Foam White and the Drunken Dwarves
7: Citizen Dain
6: The Good, the Bad, and the Gollum
5: Saruman in Love
4: There's Something about Merry
3: Austo Proudfoot in: The Spy who Shaved My Feet!
2: Gone with the Wizard
1: LotR: The Movie

Top 10 stolen scenes
1) When Gandalf and the Balrog are fighting on the bridge, Gandalf bends way back, as the balrog swings his sword over Gandalf's nose in super slow motion, as the camera swings around the two fighters. (The Matrix)

2) After Gollum loses the riddle contest, he grabs a stone, and swears: "I'll never go stupid again!" (Gone With the Wind)

3) Galadriel insists on paying Sam one dime if he sketches a picture of her naked except for the elven ring upon her finger. (Titanic)

4) Sam, riding Saruman's bicycle, flied over Cirith Ungol with Frodo in the basket. (E.T.)

5) Aragorn is overcome with sorrow, and sings: "Somewhere, over the rainbow, Nazguls die..." (The Wizard of Oz)

6) Gollum became so hideously disformed because he fell into an acid pot while flirting with Shelob. (Batman)

7) After Frodo dies when fighting Sauron in the Isengard colloseum, Galadriel comes down and says, "We will honor him." (Gladiator)

8) Saruman agrees to exchange secrets to Mordor with Arwen if she tells him intimate facts about her life. (Silence of the Lambs)

9) When Sam rescues Frodo, they fall into a garbage pit and are squeezed to death. (Star Wars)

10) The eagles get together to destroy Sauron's floating "Death Elf." (Star Wars)

How do you kill Golum?